Sarah Schulman’s Conflict is not Abuse urges individuals and communities to distinguish between conflict and abuse, advocating for accountability, direct communication, and repair rather than punitive or avoidant responses. She critiques the overuse of victimhood narratives, warning against binary thinking that leads to unnecessary escalations in personal relationships, social dynamics, and state violence. 

In her book, Schulman emphasizes self-reflection, community-based conflict resolution, and resisting institutional power structures that reinforce oppression. Rather than relying on punishment or avoidance, she encourages a culture of repair, where individuals take responsibility for their role in conflicts while fostering healing and mutual understanding. In a time of great political upheaval, community building is key to mobilization, advocacy and coalition building. This book encourages self-reflection to encourage repair and accountability; foundational skills needed to sustain movements.

Conflict is not Abuse distinguishes between abuse – a power imbalance where one party harms another, and conflict – a disagreement that could be worked through with accountability and communication. Schulman critiques how fear and insecurity can lead people to react defensively, cutting off dialogue instead of engaging in difficult but necessary conversations. She also examines how state and institutional power, such as the police and military, use narratives of victimhood to justify oppression. 

You can find Conflict is not Abuse here.